SKIN | The eye cream that broke my heart and destroyed my dreams

When you buy an eye cream, you expect it to do a thing. This one in particular claims to ‘diminish the appearance of puffs, undereye circles’. At best, the eye cream is gonna do that. At worst, you’d think, surely, the worst an eye cream could do is nothing.

The eye cream in question is Clinique All About Eyes, and let me tell you, I would be so happy if all it was was an overpriced moisturiser in a tiny jar. But no. It was so much worse than that. I took photos of the damage to prove I’m not overreacting.

I guess before I start I wanna clear up that this isn’t a tirade against Clinique (I love their blemish gel and their mascara and primer and most other things they make), and neither is it really a tirade against the eye cream itself. I mean, it is, but if you’re on the All About Eyes boat and having a great time then by all means, keep putting it on your delicate, fragile eye skin. I’ll watch you from over here through oversized sunglasses because that shit broke me out All Around [my] Eyes.

This is like the photos you see on Wikipedia articles about skin conditions. I'm sorry.This is like the photos you see on Wikipedia articles about skin conditions. I’m sorry.

I’m talking tiny bumps everywhere. Under my eyes, above my eyes, next to my eyes, everything short of my eyeballs themselves. I looked up the product on Paula’s Choice in case I’m an idiot and this product is notoriously bad for causing little bumps everywhere, but her only criticism is that it’s in a jar and not in a tube. I don’t think it’s the jar did this to me, you guys.

I stopped using it immediately and within a few days the bumps disappeared. A-HA. SO IT WAS YOU, All About Eyes, with your ‘non-creep’ formula. (Not sure that’s really the best way to phrase that selling point. THIS EYE CREAM IS NOT A CREEP! IT WON’T LEER AT YOU OR PINCH YOUR BUTT!)

Then I went to Mecca Cosmetica and in desperation bought this really expensive eye cream by Apot.Care. It’s great for a number of reasons, the first one being IT DOESN’T CAUSE A REACTION. And it’s nice and balmy and salmony-pink and comes in an air-tight jar, which is heaps better than that Clinique open-topped biz. Is it worth $150? I couldn’t say, but it may have been worth it just to calm my hysteria.

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  • Oh man, what a shame! That’s the last thing you want an eye cream to do!

  • Mannie

    All Clinique gives me those bumps. All the time. All of it.

    • Oh really? That’s interesting, I wonder what causes it? I might have to do some more research on this!

  • Oh no! I just looked it up on and it doesn’t look like anything in there is of a major concern in it, such a mystery!

    • It’s really weird, I want to figure out what caused it, but it’s the first time I’ve had a reaction like this so I have nothing to cross-check ingredients with.

  • John Green (The real one)

    Now this- this is what I call literature. I wanna be you. Teach me. Forever yours, John Green.

  • Suzy

    Oh no but glad it cleared up and you found a better cream.

  • Maddi Pham

    I did not have reaction with this product but NO IT DOES NOT WORK, I’m using the dermalogica eye cream and it’s much better though the price is the same

  • Megan

    me too!!! I knew right away it was the eye cream because I had just started to use it a few days before.. I’m sorry to have wasted my money ????

    • Can you return it? You should be able to if it’s caused a reaction!